Aw, shucks.

Kristen does life stuff, sometimes writes about it.

Fromunda bubbles in your silly place.

24 February 2013 by ludakristen

Sean and I were driving home from Michigan this afternoon when this horrid screechy noise began emanating from my car’s speakers. It took me a few seconds to realize there was not actually a dying pelican trapped under my steering wheel, and I began to make out some words:

Oh, this is how it starts
lightning strikes the heart
goes off like a gun
brighter than the sun

Sean and I are not fools. We know bullshit when we hear it.

Sean: What does this even mean? This is nonsensical noise. So she’s getting a defibrillator to the heart, a bullet to the chest plate and then smacked with a nuclear flash? Who is this?

Me: I think it’s Colbie Caillait. She’s a terrible songwriter and not much of a singer. I have no idea why she’s famous.

It was, in fact, Colbie Caillat. If you don’t know who she is, bully for you she is also the genius behind a song called “Bubbly,” which includes this lyrical gem:

‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place

Sean: Well, she’s pretty hot.

Me: Yeah, sure, if you find the whole blonde-haired blue-eyed long-limbed surfer look hot. She loses hotness points for being named after cheese, though.

Sean: Can you imagine being named after cheese? It’d be so terrible.

Me: Hi, I’m Fromunda U. Johnson! How’re you?

Sean: Nice to meet you! My name is Gouda Smith. Have you met my friend Gorgonzola Matthews?

Me: The pleasure is mine, Gorgonzola. Allow me to introduce you to my pal Goat.

And so it goes.


2 comments | Categories: Dinklage, Holla, Luda Reviews, Vagina!

Comments (2)

  1. The title of this post makes me want to vomit, but the last line makes me forgive you. I would probably choose Oaxaca. No one can pronounce that shit.

  2. That song in particular makes me stabby. I find her voice sweet, but songs that can be written by closing your eyes and pointing to a bunch of lines in “The Big Book of Music Cliches” makes me very sad indeed. (I’m looking at you too, Kelly Clarkson.)