Fromunda bubbles in your silly place.
Sean and I were driving home from Michigan this afternoon when this horrid screechy noise began emanating from my car’s speakers. It took me a few seconds to realize there was not actually a dying pelican trapped under my steering wheel, and I began to make out some words:
Oh, this is how it starts lightning strikes the heart goes off like a gun brighter than the sun
Sean and I are not fools. We know bullshit when we hear it.
Sean: What does this even mean? This is nonsensical noise. So she’s getting a defibrillator to the heart, a bullet to the chest plate and then smacked with a nuclear flash? Who is this?
Me: I think it’s Colbie Caillait. She’s a terrible songwriter and not much of a singer. I have no idea why she’s famous.
It was, in fact, Colbie Caillat. If you don’t know who she is,
bully for you she is also the genius behind a song called “Bubbly,” which includes this lyrical gem:
‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place
Sean: Well, she’s pretty hot.
Me: Yeah, sure, if you find the whole blonde-haired blue-eyed long-limbed surfer look hot. She loses hotness points for being named after cheese, though.
Sean: Can you imagine being named after cheese? It’d be so terrible.
Me: Hi, I’m Fromunda U. Johnson! How’re you?
Sean: Nice to meet you! My name is Gouda Smith. Have you met my friend Gorgonzola Matthews?
Me: The pleasure is mine, Gorgonzola. Allow me to introduce you to my pal Goat.
And so it goes.