I am Georgina Bailey.
When I was a kid, I didn’t watch too many movies. I remember loving Saved by the Bell, and I read and reread and triple-read my dad’s old Archie comics from the ’60s until the flimsy pages tore and the bindings fell apart. But when I did watch movies, I remember thinking that the actors and actresses were so fucking old.
We watched It’s A Wonderful Life every Christmas Eve. In my little stupid-kid-brain, George Bailey was at least 50 years old. Maybe even older. I didn’t know any better. In my mind, everybody out of high school was old and married. These old married people all drove their kids around in minivans and drank coffee and wore their pants higher than I did. And you know what? When I was 10, it never occurred to me that one day, I would be old too. It never occurred to me that one day, I might get married and maybe even start a family.
I don’t know why. I know some girls (and boys, too!) fantasize about their future wedding for their entire lives. They dream about the perfect white dress and floral arrangements and a hot dude/lady standing at the alter. That wasn’t me, though. Maybe it has something to do with my parents’ terrible marriage, or maybe it has something to do with my crazy busy hockey-playing lifestyle. Or maybe I just had bigger and better things to worry about, like when I’d get my grubby little hands on the newest Archie comic. Who knows, right?
What I do know is that I woke up one day, fairly recently, and realized that I am George Bailey. Well, except I’m a woman. A female George Bailey. Georgina Bailey? 10-year-old Kristen would look at me now and think, I wonder if this old lady would give me some Starburst if I ask really nicely. She’s old and has money so she probably has an unlimited supply of Starburst.
You’re probably very confused right now. I am, too.
Oh hey! I’m engaged! Sean asked me to marry him on Friday night and I said yes. We’re engaged and it’s all very magical and surreal and I really still can’t believe that I’m an engaged person. I am an engaged person who is going to marry a really wonderful man (hot dude – check) in a white dress (maybe? Is that a sin?) while carrying flowers (yeah, again, maybe not. Thinking we might just do bouquets of kittens instead).
I’m really happy.