Aw, Shucks

I apologize for the ensuing confusion.

Rough finality.

05 February 2013 by ludakristen

Rough draft:

A lot of people like you. You’re funny, smart, interesting, passionate, and maybe even a little bit crazy. Crazy in a good way, though.

But you sucked me in and turned me into a cliché. I was the love of your life, you said. But I wasn’t. We both knew it then, too, deep down in some hidden cubby of truth within us that we both ignored as hard as we could.

I was just your distraction, your easy way out, your fun little side-piece.

And it worked. You got out. You used me, man, and I’ll never forgive you for that.

But thanks. Thanks for knocking me down a peg. Thanks for letting me make a giant life-changing mistake, and thanks a million for hanging back on the sidelines when it all blew up in my face. That was super cool of you, dude.

http://www.dreamstime.com/-image11278768

Final draft:

A lot of people like me. I’m funny, smart, interesting, passionate, and maybe even a little bit crazy. Crazy in a good way, though.

But I sucked you in and turned you into a cliché. You were the love of my life, I said. But you weren’t. We both knew it then, too, deep down in some hidden cubby of truth within us that we both ignored as hard as we could.

You were just my distraction, my easy way out, my fun little side-piece.

And it worked. I got out. I used you, man, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.

But thanks. Thanks for letting me in on the secret of my imperfection. Thanks for allowing me to see how goddamn easy it was for me to make such a giant life-changing mistake. Thanks for showing me that people aren’t easily grouped into the categories good and bad. Thanks for teaching me that sometimes people do good and sometimes people do bad. Thanks for letting me take the fall for our actions, because now I know that I wasn’t wronged.

I was wrong.

**************

I am participating in a month-long writing challenge during February, so you lucky bastards get to enjoy a daily post until the end of the month! 

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4 comments | Categories: Boom, I wish I was in a coma.

Comments (4)

  1. There’s no good or bad. There are people. There are good things & bad things & things that are pieces of both, or that seem mostly like one but are really the other, but sometimes you can’t see that until a lot later because, retrospect, man. And in both versions of this letter, the draft & the final, these mistakes, whomever they belonged to & if they were even mistakes at all, taught a lot of people a lot of things. Like me. Mistakes teach us shit, & they set the course for better futures, & that’s how it’s supposed to be, & that’s the only way we live with them, I think.

    I’m glad you’re not in a coma.

    For real, though.

  2. Whoa. This is intense. I really like the flip in perspective; I wonder about the time it took you to come to your final realizations (and not in the writing).

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